With December’s theme of “Be Outrageously Generous” complete, I am thrilled to announce that together, we raised $1,500 for Urban Ventures’ music program and recording studio. This is a significant amount of money for the music program and also raised awareness of a charity making a difference in a community that Prince held dear. We couldn’t give details due to the anonymity Prince desired, but I can tell you that the recording studio at Urban Ventures is designed by the same person who designed the studios at Paisley Park, and that Prince was in support of Urban Ventures. That we continue to support that program’s good work is something we can be proud of as Prince fans. (You can still donate at www.urbanventures.org/Prince).
On Christmas Eve, I appeared on The Jason Show to spread the news about the fundraiser. What a special and generous person host Jason Matheson is!
As we close the books on the old year and welcome in 2020, I want to say thank you. The year 2019 was really great and it’s because of you — those of you who read posts, commented and welcomed me into your life — that I was able to keep writing and made it to the finish line! I am eternally grateful for you. As someone who dreamed about being a writer since I was a little girl, I want to say: Thank you. Thank you for being part of The Year of Living Like Prince.
The Year of Living Like Prince is coming to a close. I can’t believe it. This has been one of the very best and certainly one of the most memorable years of my life. My greatest hope is that you might feel inspired to step outside your comfort zone in 2020. Pick one small thing each month that’s new or different or doesn’t feel like typical you, and see where it takes you! (It doesn’t have to fit a theme … just reach out for something new 💜). With my year of Living Like Prince nearing a close, here are 7 things I want to tell you.
I decided to spend the past 12 months living like Prince because of what I learned about how he lived when I co-wrote a biography about him.
Living Like Prince might seem like an unusual choice for a suburban mom like me. But I’m not only a suburban mom. I’m the co-author, along with Alex Hahn, of The Rise of Prince: 1958-1988, and in researching that book I realized Prince had left more than a musical legacy. He’d left a roadmap about how to live an extraordinary life. That intrigued me and I wanted to take that journey in 2019. I had no idea where it would lead!
Living like Prince changed me.
Living like Prince has taken me from having an enjoyable life to having an exhilarating life. It did that by pushing me outside my comfort zone. When you intentionally place yourself in a position where you’re outside your comfort zone — for example, by changing your name to a symbol, as I did in April — then you have to get creative. Why did I put this symbol on a nametag and introduce myself this way at the party? I had to answer, and in doing so, I began to create a new experience of living.
The year was NOT what I expected.
I thought that Living Like Prince was going to be about success, and how to achieve success because Prince was obviously successful. But it turned out to be about creative living. I learned that instead of striving for happiness, we should choose to strive for an exhilarating life. Exhilarating leaves happy in the dust: It’s next-level happy. There’s a quote in Prince’s memoir where he talks about how he wanted to tell people to create. Start by creating your day, and then create your life, he said. Day by day, I created my days with intention, whether the month called on me to be a spiritual seeker, form a band or dress up daily, and I wound up creating a more exhilarating life.
I wanted to quit.
People ask, did I ever want to quit? The answer is an unqualified “oh my gosh, yes!!” I thought about quitting on more than one occasion because there were times when this felt bigger than I anticipated. I even wanted to quit right away in the first month, when I tried fasting (Prince, in a 2014 interview, talked about fasting and its positive effects on him). I never want to replicate that month! But people were cheering me on, and that’s the great thing about community. Sometimes, the thought of Prince was enough to spur me on. Living here in Chanhassen as I do, I couldn’t help but think about how Prince had worked down the road at Paisley Park, 20 hours a day, day after day, for decades. If he was able to do that, just a couple of miles from where I sat, what excuse did I have not to follow suit, even in my own small way?
There were things about this journey that made me scared.
I felt exposed and vulnerable many times this year, notably when I did a photoshoot while posing as my alter ego Aurora in downtown Minneapolis. I was quaking in my four-inch heels! Then, doing media interviews was incredibly scary, but when I succeeded in not keeling over on live television I enjoyed a sense of accomplishment.
My favorite month was changing my name to a symbol.
My favorite month was April when I changed my name to a symbol because it was really interesting learning about what Prince’s symbol stood for, and even to explore the nature of symbols and how they communicate more about us than a name with letters might. What did I stand for? And how could I share that in a symbol that identified me? That was fascinating. Also, I won’t lie: It felt rebellious and fun to mess with people’s heads by insisting on being identified by an unpronounceable symbol.
My hardest month was saying “no.”
The hardest month was June when I said no to things that weren’t right for me. Like many of us, I’m a people pleaser and although I’d imagined that I’d be gleefully tossing out “no’s” like candy in a parade, it was really hard. But Prince said no to things that weren’t right for him, regardless of the reaction, so I had to follow suit. Doing so was hard, but ultimately liberating.
I’m ending the year by honoring Prince’s legacy of giving and the way he anonymously and quietly gave away millions of dollars during his lifetime. I’ve chosen Urban Ventures, a nonprofit based in an under-resourced neighborhood in South Minneapolis, with a music program and recording studio. Kids who would never be able to learn an instrument or learn how a recording studio works are able to get that exposure thanks to this amazing organization, in a community that Prince loved. My goal is to raise $10,000 and we’re not there yet. I know there are a lot of great causes out there, and I greatly appreciate you considering Urban Ventures for your charitable giving. To learn more or make a donation, visit www.urbanventures.org/prince.
In the years when Prince was alive, the dearth of information about him made it clear that many of those surrounding him (okay, all of them) had been sworn to secrecy or had signed non-disclosure agreements, or simply KNEW how pissed Prince would be if they spoke publically about him. But in the years since he passed away, the floodgates have opened. It took a while — they didn’t open on day one, but what started as a trickle is today a rush of books and podcasts and media interviews If you try to consume all of the information spilling forth from former Prince bandmates, girlfriends, employees, managers and more, it can feel like you’re trying unsuccessfully to drink from a fire hose. In fact, just by reading GQ Magazine alone, in recent years, you could learn that he smelled like lavender and called people on the phone using French or British accents, or that he had a perfectly shaped, androgynous bottom (although, ahem, we didn’t need an insider to enlighten us to this Princely reality). The stories have become so plentiful that it’s possible to recognize patterns and categorize them: Prince the late-in-life mentor; Prince the employer who pushed you past your limits; Prince the ultimate musician; Prince the tremendous hard worker who didn’t eat, didn’t sleep and when it came to output, put everyone else to shame.
Of all these, there’s one category of stories that still takes me by surprise: Prince the philanthropist. For as much of a Prince fan as I’ve been, I did not realize the extent of his giving while he was alive.
“Prince spent his entire career privately supporting causes that were near and dear to his heart,” wrote Tony Kiene in a 2016 article for the Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder. “Upon his death, however, the expansive scope and impact of his charitable activities started to come to light, mostly from accounts of those who’d previously been sworn to secrecy.”
What a little positive publicity about Prince’s charitable giving might have done for his image! Sometimes it felt he could never get out of his own way when it came out the public relations thing. Since his death, there’s been a halo effect when it comes to Prince’s public image. But back in the 1990s, the story was different. Much, much different.
Writer Chris Heath said of interviewing Prince for a 1991 Details magazine profile, “The man I talked to on the phone was smart, polite, charismatic, and playful, but it’s another man—the people watcher, the one who doesn’t say hello, the narcissist who’s so into himself all he needs is mirrors and foot servants—that so many people imagine being the real Prince.”
Here’s the truth of the real Prince: According to Kiene’s article, Prince was a financial force behind organizations such as #YesWeCode, Green For All, Youth 2 Leaders, and Powerhouse. Kiene writes, “As (Van) Jones told CNN … “There are people who have solar panels on their houses right now in Oakland, Ca., that don’t know Prince paid for them.”
While Prince’s giving reached all over this country, in his home state of Minnesota, Prince gave not only to Urban Ventures — the organization for which I’m raising funds this month — but also, according to Kiene, the Prep Network of Schools, The Bridge for Youth, Circle of Discipline, and a fund to support the victims of the I-35W bridge collapse tragedy.
Prince was a doer. That’s one thing I know for sure after attempting to live like him. I packed a ton of activity into each month and honestly, I began to remember that this is how I used to live when I was young. There is something to keeping things moving. One of the few things that very much stuck with me from his memoir, “The Beautiful Ones,” was written by Dan Piepenbring, his co-writer. Prince was excited to be a writer and seize the narrative of his own life, Piepenbring wrote, adding:
He said he was finished with making music, making records. “I’m sick of playing the guitar, at least for now. I like the piano, but I hate the thought of picking up the guitar.” What he really wanted to do was write. “I want to write lots of books. It’s all up here,” he said, pointing to his temple. That’s why he wanted to talk to writers and to work with a publisher. “I want my first book to be better than my first album. I like my first album, but …” he trailed off. “I’m a lot smarter than I was then.”
If you’re reading this, you still have a chance to seize your own narrative. Why not make giving an essential part of it? I’m excited to follow Prince’s generous lead in December.
Prince was renowned for being a one-man-band who wrote, produced, played and performed at an exceptionally high level. But the truth is, he didn’t do it alone.
When recording, he had a studio engineer. When performing, he had a band. He had managers, publicists, web designers, costume designers, drivers, chefs and who knows who all else, at various times in his career.
Most importantly, he had an audience. At the January 21, 2016 Paisley Park gala event for “A Piano & A Microphone” — Prince’s first-ever solo performance — Prince mentioned that he had a habit of playing piano late at night.
“This is what I usually do
around this time of night.
aah … It’s better with you all present
Yes. It’s always better with others present. Just as writers write to be read, musicians play to be heard.
November’s theme of “Form a Band” is coming to a close and in that spirit, I’m so grateful for the people whose enthusiasm and kindness have made “Crazy Amazing: The Year of Living Like Prince” more than a wacky project by a lone writer. Because of you, we are now a band of strong, smart, funny and caring people. I’m grateful when you cut me a break when I make my many mistakes. I feel gratitude for every single one of you for being patient, funny, loving and wittier than I can ever dream of being. When stuff gets tough, it helps to know we have a band!
So, thanks to all of you. You remind me that no one — not even Prince — does it without a band.
As November opened, I intended to take the month’s theme of “form a band” literally. Well, nearly literally: Although I wasn’t auditioning drummers and bass players, I was extending myself in a concerted effort to connect with writers, editors, agents, bookstore owners, publicists — anyone with even a peripheral interest in this crazy business they call book publishing. Along the same lines as young Prince looking to get a record deal, I decided to see if I could make progress toward a goal of getting “Crazy Amazing: The Year of Living Like Prince” published as a book one day. (I was well aware that I would not fully accomplish this goal in a month’s time as Prince did with his own memoir deal: I’m not that crazy amazing!).
But by mid-month, my definition of “band” has broadened. The idea of a band grew to mean more than a team of people working together to get things done. A “band” also encompassed the idea of a group of like-minded individuals, like Robin Hood and his Merry Men on their quest to steal from the rich and give to the poor. Forming a band can be, as writer and psychologist Timothy Leary put it, an exhortation to go and “find the others.”
Whether seeking out a band to achieve a purpose or simply finding the others, Job One this month was to make a concerted effort to get connected with publishing peers. This isn’t as easy as it might seem. We writers don’t sit in an office from 9-5, surrounded by other helpful writers. So, I did what I’ve done every time I’ve been stuck this year: The Obvious. In this case, the obvious entailed attending a weekend writing conference hosted by Minneapolis’ Loft Literary Center. While there, a friendly agent mentioned a “MN Publishing” meetup to be held in a couple of weeks’ time. In the spirit of going where I’m invited, I happily showed up at Moon Palace Books on Saturday morning and wound up being introduced to a bunch of great people. The gathering was free writer’s therapy and within an hour, I was able to clear up a nagging question about what genre my book should be (a major nagging question, to be honest) that had kept me up at night and stymied me as to my next step. While I never saw myself as a memoirist, someone I’d met at the writing conference had made a compelling argument that “The Year of Living Like Prince” was a memoir. Which of course, it is — in part. I’d always envisioned my book as a work of prescriptive nonfiction. Also, “memoir” screams “undressing in public” in my mind (not that I haven’t done my share of that this year and not that I won’t continue to do it). So, I breathed a sigh of relief when a potential recipe of 30 percent memoir, 70 percent nonfiction was suggested. I marveled at how easy and angst-free it was to simply ask a question of others, rather than tormenting myself for nights on end. Why don’t I ask for help more often? Argh! (Bangs head against wall).
To explore the kinship aspect of finding a band, I picked up the book, “A Tribe Called Bliss: Break Through Superficial Friendships, Create Real Relationships, Reach Your Highest Potential,” by Lori Harder. And speaking of books, I sought out another aspect of publishing — the reader — by joining our neighborhood book club. As a writer, it’s eye-opening to hear how readers digest books. (Bonus: Wine with friends and neighborhood updates!).
In the midst of this frenzy of band-forming activity, I headed to New York for work because, like most writers, I have a day job. And there, perched high up in an office tower, a realization struck. For those pursuing a corporate career, there’s a clear path laid out for you. While of course there are twists and turns along the way, overall, there’s a sense of structure. It’s comforting to know what’s expected and I can see why many people prefer the corporate life to an entrepreneurial or artistic life. But when you’re a musician like Prince, the only ladder to climb is the one he sings of in 1986’s “Around the World in a Day” album, where he sings of the difficult steps that must be taken to achieve salvation. Unlike the climb from manager to director and vice president, Prince couldn’t replicate someone else’s journey. So while someone might give Prince advice about when to hire or fire a manager, when to tour or how quickly to produce albums, the truth is, no one can tell you, except you.
As a writer, everyone’s financial situation is different (perhaps you can afford to hire a web designer to build your author website). Everyone’s skills are varied (maybe you have web design skills of your own). But what isn’t different is our need for a band. After this month of meeting my fellow Midwestern writers, I’m struck by their collegiality and humbled by their generosity. And I’m more convinced than ever that every writer needs a band.
And now, I’d like to introduce you to three band members who have been instrumental in helping to grow Living Like Prince.
Here are my “Living Like Prince” band members
Mary O’Donohue is a dear friend from my years in Chicago. Her latest venture (after moving to Nashville) is as founder of Authors in Media. Mary has proven to be an invaluable team member and was instrumental in helping come up with the right words to describe this crazy project in its early days, and in getting me onto television (here too!) and into print.
Clara Tomaz is another Chicago friend (I sense a pattern forming here). Clara is an artist and filmmaker who owns a wonderful company that produces movies for companies and organizations and family histories. Clara lent her talents to my website, creating the header and the “about me” video, as well as using her artistic talents to create this stunning piece of artwork.
And here’s the final, and vital, member of my team. Sommer is a double doodle. (Yes, double doodles are a thing. You take a mini goldendoodle and put it together with a mini labradoodle, and voila: You’ve got yourself a double doodle).
Sommer lies with her head on my lap while I write, or naps on the bed behind my desk, ever alert for a sighting of the neighbor’s cat, which likes to hunt in the little duck pond at the edge of our back yard.
In my future plans, I’ll have a photographer and a web designer and in due time, an agent and a freelance editor, along with an editor at my publishing house. All in due time.
This weekend, I attended Wordsmith 2019, a writing conference hosted by the Loft Literary Center at the University of Minnesota. My agenda had less to do with exploring the craft of writing and more to do with this: Find potential band members who can work as a de facto team to help me turn “Crazy Amazing: The Year of Living Like Prince” from a blog and a prayer, into a book.
Intentionality was key. When Prince auditioned band members, he listened not only for skill but for an innate, funky style. I would follow his lead: While keeping an eye out for people with valuable skill sets, they also needed to demonstrate a sensibility that matches that of this admittedly quirky, funk-filled project. It was a tall order!
With that in mind, I headed to a “speed dating” session for writers. The session’s goal was to enable you to connect with other writers who could support you in your work. Some participants were looking for a writers’ group; others were looking for a match in terms of their genre — say, someone writing historical fiction with a fantasy element set in medieval times (writers can be a wee bit specific about genres). Shockingly, no one I spoke with was seeking anyone writing a memoir of a year that they could describe as “like`Julie & Julia,’ only with less food and more funk.” (Wouldn’t that have been something!) But no matter. Rather, inspired by the way Prince sought out talented people who could do what he couldn’t — play horns or design websites or make costumes — I was looking for potential bandmates with skills I didn’t have and who were great at what they did.
As we rotated around the room in a musical-chairs arrangement, I spoke with seven people for four minutes each. Not surprisingly, opening a conversation with, “I’m a suburban mom living like Prince” tends to pique people’s interest. Still, one writer stared in puzzlement; another gave a bemused “sorry, not for me” look. Two others took an open-minded approach. While Prince wasn’t their cup of tea, they essentially replied, “I might not be your ideal reader but I can appreciate your idea; tell me more.” Three times, the eyes of the writer sitting across from me lit up. “How are you doing that?” they asked.
Ultimately, however, the person I honed in on as a good prospect for my “band” was in the open-minded bunch who weren’t ga-ga over Prince but didn’t dismiss the “living like Prince” spiel as a sign that they were sitting across from a madwoman, either. This gentleman described himself as a tech entrepreneur who’d sold a couple of companies and who had retired and was looking to write. As a writer, I could be helpful to him; he’s an entrepreneur, and that’s invaluable because being an author is an entrepreneurial venture that requires a product, branding, marketing, and distribution. Those things are notoriously difficult to do for oneself. But when I approached him the next day to say I’d chosen him, it turned out that he hadn’t chosen me. This could have spelled disastrous rejection, but au contraire: He seemed pleased to hear that having his input would be valuable and gave me his business card so we could be in touch. One potential band member connection made!
Then, at lunch, I joined a table of nonfiction and memoir writers and chatted with a woman who was younger than the typical demographic for anything Prince-related, but who she exclaimed enthusiastically over the idea of “living like Prince.” She impressed me with her self-awareness as she shared how she’d moved from a place with a high cost of living to a less expensive smaller city so that she could write as a profession and still manage her life. She showed a lot of dedication to her craft and a high level of maturity to boot and she happens to do freelance editing. She could be an ideal editor to help develop a book manuscript. We exchanged emails. Potential band number two, found.
When you’re going the traditional publishing route, the two other band members you need are an agent and an editor at the publishing house that’s publishing your work. The agent comes first and is your ally and guide in the publishing industry. The agent, in fact, is the one who connects you with editors at publishing houses. Once the publishing house signs you to a book deal, then you, the agent and the editor become a trio with the mission of bringing your book to life. I didn’t expect to land an agent at the conference; far from it! But I was encouraged by the positive, warm connections I made. Band members three and four remain at large, but that’s nothing concerning at this stage in the process. Prince bumped into his musical comrade-in-arms Andre Cymone as a junior high school student standing in a line in the gymnasium. Bandmates three and four will step forward when the time is right. Meanwhile, it’s time to start rehearsing with my new bandmates.
As November begins, I can hardly recall the bright and shiny version of me who jumped headlong into Living Like Prince back in January. Rather, I feel like a marathon runner who’s hit the wall at the 20-mile mark of a 26.2-mile race. Though I’ve still got that gleam in my eye, though I’ve still got determination and passion and desire, I’m emotionally exhausted and physically tired. I can see the finish line — it’s right there, in my sights. But even though I can see it, I find it hard to visualize myself finishing.
How do marathoners get through those final miles? Do they grit their teeth and do it all alone? I guess that’s possible, but it’s hard. When you have others who will spur you on, it makes you feel more able to dig into your reserves of strength. It’s hugely helpful to have others — whether you call them partners, teammates, friends or comrades — who will practically push (shove) you over the finish line.
Recently, I was thinking of Prince (as one does when they are living like Prince) and his first album, 1978’s “For You.” Young Prince wrote all the music and the lyrics and played every instrument and sang lead vocals and backup vocals and then produced the whole dang thing.
Prince was literally a one-man band.
While the album was a huge accomplishment, Prince couldn’t succeed in the music business without performing live. What was he going to do, run around the stage trying to play every instrument simultaneously? Even Prince, with all his abilities, couldn’t manage to pull off that superhuman feat. No, there was no way to perform without a drummer and a bass player and a guitarist and a keyboard player or two, so Prince had auditions and assembled his band.
Prince needed a band, I thought. That’s what I need, too.
Not a literal rock band, mind you. What I need is more akin to a “band of brothers” variety of band. A tribe. A council. A trusted group that’s got my back and will help me do whatever it takes to get across that finish line.
No one can thrive in isolation. Not Prince. Not me. And not you, either. This month, I’m going to seek to connect with other writers, professionals with complementary skills and maybe even a mentor. With the support of others, we can cross the finish line, depleted but happy.
An early theme of “Graffiti Bridge,” Prince’s spiritually-oriented 1990 movie, was the search for what Prince called “the grand progression.” When a progression of 17 guitar chords was played, it would cause the mystical Graffiti Bridge to appear. While there was a literal Graffiti Bridge in nearby Eden Prairie that had been used by Vietnam War protestors to share messages of peace, in the movie “Graffiti Bridge,” the bridge was a physical manifestation of a spiritual state of mind.
The unreleased ballad, “The Grand Progression,” was written for the movie but ultimately eschewed in favor of “Still Would Stand All Time” (you can hear “The Grand Progression” by searching YouTube for it). The song is filled with a yearning for union, of both the sexual and spiritual kind. In the concept of a grand progression, Prince expresses the mystical aspect of the musical harmonies that had been mathematized as far back as 500 b.c. by Greek philosopher Pythagoras. Like Pythagoras, Prince was exploring the mathematical aspect of music in the concept of a grand progression, but Prince added another dimension: He was also expressing music’s effect on the human spirit.
As I pilgrimaged through October, Prince’s idea of a grand progression took on new meaning. I began to see every step of my spiritual journey as a chord in “The Grand Progression.” Each step moves us forward in a journey to get closer to our higher self. In my mind’s eye, I envisioned the grand progression as mystical musical staircase that leads us into a higher level of consciousness, and at the end of our lives, back into the arms of God.
What I’ve learned this month is that spiritual journeys are built on trust. You must be willing to let go of the comfort of one step to move to the next level. You must trust that there will always be another step on which your foot will land safely. And like an improvising musician, you must trust that in releasing one chord, the next will come.
If you see life as The Police did when they sang, “We are spirits in the material world,” then it follows that life by definition is a spiritual journey, one travelled by your spirit, carried within your body for the purpose of having an earthly experience. And if we listen to one of Prince’s spiritual teachers, author Betty Eadie, what we are here on Earth to do is to grow our spirits through serving God — “Love God” — and serving each other — “Love4OneAnother.” We’ve all heard the old saying, “You can’t take it with you.” Well, there’s one thing we do take with us, according to Eadie: When we leave our bodies, our spiritual growth during this lifetime is what we take back to heaven.
Tomorrow, we turn a page on the calendar to a new month and a fresh start. Tune in for the announcement of November’s theme!
Midway through October, my attempt to assimilate Prince’s 57-year spiritual journey into 31 days has left my mind spinning. And why wouldn’t it? Prince and his music bounced back and forth between the profane and the sacred like a ball bounding across the ping pong table in Paisley Park’s Studio B.
I needed to talk with someone who could provide clarity and insight into Prince’s spiritual life. Ideally, the person would have known Prince. She would be someone he trusted and respected. And she would have a great deal of life experience.
Or, afterlife experience.
Betty J. Eadie is the author of “Embraced by the Light,” the vivid and detailed account of the near death experience she went through following a surgery in 1973. After Prince’s death in 2016, Eadie wrote about their decades-long relationship on her website. That tribute caught my attention and made me wonder: Could Eadie provide me with guidance on how to be a spiritual seeker like Prince? I was eager to speak with her.
Eadie, a mother of eight, might seem an unlikely choice of spiritual mentor for rock star Prince. But spiritual mentor is exactly what Eadie became when the two met in the early 1990s, a particularly turbulent time in Prince’s life. He was extracting himself from his contract with Warner Bros., changing his name to a symbol and writing “slave” across his face.
Eadie, now 77 years old and living in Seattle, published “Embraced by the Light” in 1992. The book, published by a small press, slowly garnered publicity, and ultimately landed Eadie on the then-mountaintop of all talk shows, “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” “Embraced” was on the New York Times bestseller list for more than two years and Eadie became a household name.
In the midst of that hectic time, Eadie’s office received a package. Inside were photos and CDs sent by Prince.
“I put one (CD) in and listened to it and thought, `That is horrible music,'” Eadie laughs. Eadie, who was 16 years older than Prince, says that as a busy mother and author, she had only a vague idea of who he was.
As part of her book tour, Eadie visited Minneapolis, and while speaking to a darkened auditorium filled with thousands of readers, the doors in the back opened. Illuminated from the light streaming in from outside, Eadie saw the silhouette of a small figure followed by a group of people who took seats in the back row. She was mystified, but kept speaking. The next day, Eadie received an invitation from that small figure’s representatives: Would she like to visit Prince at Paisley Park? To appease her son — he served as her agent, traveled with her and exclaimed, “Mom, he’s one of the greatest singers of all time!” — Eadie agreed to shift her travel arrangements to accommodate a visit.
Upstairs at Paisley Park, Eadie says she found herself sitting knee-to-knee on a love seat with Prince. Her son sat on a second love seat, with a coffee table in between them. Eadie was facing Prince’s right side, where he had written “slave” across his cheek.
“I couldn’t avoid looking at it,” she says. “With that`slave’ on his cheek, he looked so pathetic and wounded-looking and sad.”
Prince said, “You got my music?”
Eadie replied, “Yes, I did.”
He said, “Well, what do you think of them (the CDs)?”
Eadie noticed her son sucking in his breath sharply. He knew how open and honest his mother was.
“It’s not really my type of music so I can’t really comment on it,” she said.
Her son exhaled.
“I write it for the kids,” Prince replied.
“I know you do,” Eadie said to Prince, gathering her courage. “But is that the type of music you should be writing for them? It’s painful, hurtful, suggestive and it’s not the kind of music I want the kids to listen to. As talented as you are and as much as I know you love youth, why don’t you write things from your heart that are uplifting?”
Eadie knew she’d said the wrong thing, at least from a social niceties point of view, and she held her breath. Then, something unexpected happened: Prince began speaking of his business with Warner Bros., his family and his upbringing. He poured his heart out.
“He looked right in my eyes when he did so and I could see the pain in them and it even brought moisture to my eyes,” Eadie says. “I could sense this was a man who was hurting so much.”
Prince’s “miserable” family life growing up was part of his anger, Eadie says. “He was exposed to abuse and it embittered and angered him,” she says. “The very things that hurt him were what he was writing about and trying to make them okay and make sense of it all,” she says. But, she adds, the greatest pain he had was the feeling that others in power had taken advantage of him as a young musician.
Eadie says the Prince she encountered that day was nothing like “Prince” the rock star, which she describes as a stage persona.
“Was that the real Prince? No, that wasn’t. He was very vulnerable. He was tender, wounded and he needed a mother’s love. That was what he felt he could receive from me because I am motherly,” Eadie says. “With him, the minute I saw he had this hidden part of him I wanted to hold him and say, `Everything is going to be okay.'”
Prince told her that he “put himself into music to get rid of the pain,” she says. She told him that while it’s good to get rid of pain, and millions of others can relate to similar events so they gravitate to your music, it was time to shift his music and message.
“Is that what you want, that they (your audience) keep listening to pain?” she asked Prince. “Now that you’ve built a great reputation and following, why not bring them closer to love?”
“Get that `slave’ off your face. You’re no one’s slave,” she told him. She counseled Prince to remember that what you put out in the world will come back to you — “so make sure it’s good.”
Prince was on the edge of his seat, Eadie says, “as if he was hearing it all for the first time.”
They had spoken for an hour and a half. Near the end of the conversation, Prince told Eadie that she was like family to him — like a mother.
“He thanked me for being open and honest with him. We had to go because we had a flight out, but I could tell he was not wanting us to go. He felt an attachment, and I began to feel an attachment to him. He needed someone and at this moment I was the person he needed to talk to,” she says. “What I saw was a wounded soul and someone who needed someone and I happened to be the one at the time. I was glad I was there with him.”
As they stood up, Eadie says, they realized they were the same height.
“We laughed and we looked down at our shoes. I had four-inch heels on because I’m short, and he had the same four-inch heels, although his were more platform style than mine,” she says.
Prince escorted Eadie all the way downstairs from his upper-level suite. As they prepared to part, Prince reached for Eadie and gave her a “warm and beautiful” hug, Eadie says, noting that it was only later that she was told that Prince not only never embraced people; he never, ever walked people to the door.
“When I left he felt like an enlightened person,” she says. “He was more in control of himself and didn’t need people’s approval.”
Later, after Eadie had returned home, Prince called with more questions about how best to give to others.
“He always felt he gave, but whether it was the right way or not was debatable based on his emotions at the time,” Eadie recalls. “He said that maybe it was more about him than about wanting to serve.”
The second time Prince called, he had a proposition. He was going on tour, and he wanted Eadie to go with him.
“Go with you and do what?” Eadie asked.
Prince replied, “I’ll sing and you’ll give your presentation. They need to hear you.”
Eadie laughs at the recollection. “Now, in my mind, Prince’s songs and what I have to share are not compatible.”
Prince told her, “I will buy a book for everyone who comes and hand them out. That way I’m giving back.”
As enticing as it might have been for the sales of her book, “I just couldn’t do it,” Eadie says. Back in those days, Prince had changed his name to a symbol and was the object of a lot of negativity. And negativity from the general public was something Eadie understood all too well.
“This was the early days of `Embraced (by the Light).’ It was a forerunner of the most personal account of a near-death experience. People attached all kinds of negativity to it and I was getting it (criticism) left and right. I thought, `Now all I need is to go out on tour with Prince!'”
Eadie told Prince that she was thinking of the songs she’d heard on that first CD she’d listened to, and she told him that she couldn’t do it – it didn’t seem like a good fit with her message.
Prince replied, “Well, I’m going to change my music.”
Prince told Eadie that he was going to write a song for her, and that’s when he wrote `Dolphin,’ a song about reincarnation that appears on the 1995 album, “The Gold Experience.” The entire album captured Prince’s state of transformation, Eadie says, adding that she told him he needed to be a “bridge walker,” a term for a person who has the ability to bridge the gap between human existence and the spiritual world.
Of “The Gold Experience,” Prince shared with Eadie that some of the songs on the album represented the kind of songs he used to write, while others represented the kind of music he was currently writing.
“That was his change and he wanted to demonstrate the old Prince and the new Prince,” Eadie says. Prince went on to write other songs inspired by “Embraced,” including “Into the Light,” on 1996’s “Chaos and Disorder” album.
Over the years, Prince would call when he faced a dilemma and needed to talk things through, or late at night, just to “talk normal,” says Eadie. (“He told me that he was so famous that nobody talked normal to him,” she recalls. With a chuckle, she remembers thinking, “How famous are you?”).
Eadie and Prince stayed in touch over the years and at the end of his life, they were in contact again about the possibility of Prince writing songs for the movie adaptation of “Embraced.” Prince was elated at the prospect, she says. She believes that it’s likely he had written some songs for the movie before his death, and she is in touch with his Estate in that regard.
Looking back now, what resonated with Prince, says Eadie, was her book’s message of God’s unconditional love.
“We each are valued and have our own path in life that we can serve Him or serve others. It’s never about us,” she says. “The more we do to help other people, the greater our spirit becomes. What we leave with when we die is that growth.”
The pain we feel from the choices we make is hell on earth, Eadie says. But at any time you choose, she says, you can let go of that pain, adding, “We are free to do that at any time.”
“It was challenging to live up to his image and he wanted so much to change,” Eadie says. “`Embraced’ was a part of his change.”
By day, Erica Thompson works as a features reporter at the Columbus Dispatch in Columbus, Ohio. By night (and weekends, and seemingly every spare moment), Erica labors on her passion project, a book about Prince’s spiritual journey entitled, “Willing to Do the Work: The Spiritual Mission of Prince.”
In this month of spiritual seeking through our theme of “Love God,” a valediction that Prince used frequently, I had to talk with Erica. Anyone who’s invested huge swaths of time in an effort to understand the spiritual journey of an often inscrutable artist could certainly shine a light on the path ahead. Might Erica provide us with some shortcuts on the spiritual path of Living Like Prince? Advice on what to bring on our journey? Read on as this purple pilgrim shares tales of her progress.
(Laura) When were you first introduced to Prince’s music?
(Erica) It goes back to being a junior in high school and watching “Purple Rain” and getting inspired — and getting my mind blown. I knew who he (Prince) was because my mom played him in the house … I went out and picked out (what was then) his latest album, (2001’s) “The Rainbow Children,” and that was my entry point.
In college, I started out as an English major and a flute performance major (editor’s note: shades of Lizzo!) … I had a biography class in undergrad, and that’s when I started to think that I wanted to put together his spiritual life … When I went to get my master’s in journalism, I decided I would do something on him. Other students were doing things like a historical analysis on newspapers and I’m doing Prince’s spiritual journey. When I turned in my thesis it was 40 pages long, and I decided, I want to turn this into a book. Ten years later, I’m still doing it — and it’s 400 pages!
You’ve worked on this for 10 years! You were writing it during Prince’s lifetime, then?
I wanted to finish the book and I wanted him to see it. And I thought I would get to know what he’d think about it. In 2013, I spoke with Omarr (Prince’s younger half brother) and he said he thought Prince would really like it, that he would tell Prince about it and maybe he would call me. That never happened.
Sometimes I get clues along the way that it’s happening how it’s supposed to happen. After he passed, more people have opened up to talk to me. I have done so much more research. If I had published the book before he passed, I wouldn’t have understood some of the religious systems he was into other than Christianity. Of course I wanted to interview him for this book, but now I’m seeing it wasn’t meant to be for me, and the reason was for me to focus on my interpretation. I don’t think my interpretation is the only correct one, but my goal is to show people and have them make up their minds.
What have you learned from your research that has been most impactful to you personally?
Two things have been especially impactful. The first is how to approach spirituality. I was raised as a Christian and a lot of Christians are raised not to explore other religions because they don’t want to put any other gods before their God. I was naïve before this project because I thought it would be a simple Christian “born again” story. But seeing how Prince pursued so many other spiritual systems encouraged me to do the same. It made me feel you can have your core belief and call yourself a Christian, and still feel like it’s okay to explore chakras or the third eye and still know that I have a Christian foundation.
Second, the perception that some have, and I think is true, is that a lot of his spiritual songs had coded messages for black people. Some people look at his songs as Negro spirituals … He’s communicating to black people that way with messages of spiritual liberation and economic liberation. It affects me personally as I’m a black person and I know Prince is talking to me and he’s encouraging me because we have a common experience. For example, “Beautiful Loved and Blessed” says, we’ve faced so much oppression in this country and we’ve internalized so many beliefs about us to say we are inferior — and Prince is saying `No, you’re not inferior.’ It’s an encouragement about the power and intelligence that black people have.
If a Prince fan (editor’s note: who shall remain nameless) asked what three things she should pack for a spiritual journey, what would you tell her to bring?
Number one would be the Bible, and I say that because that’s Prince’s foundation. He grew up going to Christian-based churches. Going through his lyrics, there are so many that point to scripture, which is the bedrock for him.
Second, I would pack a notebook because I think Prince would want us to write for ourselves. He’d want us to write how we’re inspired and channel things for ourselves and explore things for ourselves. I think Prince wants us to have agency. He wants us to empower ourselves.
The third thing is music. You could approach that in different ways. Someone I interviewed said, “If you want to know about Prince, listen to his music.” You could take “The Gold Experience” or “Emancipation” if you wanted to get into his Eastern spirituality side. Or “The Rainbow Children” to get into his Jehovah’s Witness doctrine. Or whatever of his music inspires you.
Do you have any advice for us as we aspire to be spiritual seekers like Prince this month?
One of the aims of my book is to inspire people to examine their own spiritual journeys. We can relate to a lot of what he went through, but of course he took a unique path, and I don’t know if the average person studies as much as he did. But it’s not like Prince did something no one else could do: We just have to be willing to do the work.
Thank you, Erica! You can follow Erica’s journey at www.apurpledayindecember.com.
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You have successfully subscribed to the newsletter! Now you deserve your exclusive bonus: SEVEN TIPS FOR LIVING LIKE A PRINCE 1. Fast for Clarity In January, I fasted for clarity, inspired by the fact that Prince famously would fast to stay trim. Whether or not Prince fasted because he was caught up in making music and forgot to eat or fasted intentionally isn’t clear, but during the month of January, I declared that my theme was “Life in the Fasting Lane.” I found that fasting gave me a lot of energy and mental clarity. The method of fasting I used was called Alternate Day Fasting. I would fast for one day (I was allowed to eat up to 500 calories), followed by a day when I could eat anything. 2. Dress Up and Show Up In February, I dressed up daily – no excuses! Prince famously dressed up for everything and turns out, there’s a method behind his madness. “Enclothed cognition” is a scientific phenomenon that explains why dressing the part makes you perform at a higher level, whether in sports, career or being a world-class musician. Despite the fact that February was the snowiest month in Minnesota history, I dressed up each day – hair done, makeup on, heels, dresses. I didn’t wear jeans for an entire month, because Prince didn’t either! I felt more productive and professional because of what I was wearing, even though I was often working from home in the middle of a snowstorm. 3. Adopt a Symbol In April, I made my biggest leap of faith to date when I changed my name to a symbol that I drew in art class. My symbol is unpronounceable, just like the Love Symbol that Prince changed his name to in 1993. I created a heart surrounded by rays, and I drew it in gold. To me, the symbol meant love and sunshine, which is what I aspire to be in the world, but you could say it’s a radiant heart or a symbol radiating love and positivity. Like Prince’s Love Symbol, my symbol is open to interpretation! I even had it printed on t-shirts, and at a couple of public events, wrote it on a nametag and introduced myself as my new identity. 4. Support Live Music One of Prince’s favorite sayings was “real music by real musicians” and he not only represented that in his own music and his bands but by doing it himself! He had a table at the Dakota Jazz Club in downtown Minneapolis, and over the years, was known to show up at Minneapolis nightclub First Avenue and local hangout Bunker’s Music Bar and Grill. 5. Be a Good Neighbor Prince was a loyal Minnesotan who did much to elevate the profile of his home state, not least by being one of the originators of the Minneapolis Sound. In the last few years of his life, Prince offered fans an unprecedented level of access to a star of his stature by opening the doors of his sprawling recording and studio complex Paisley Park for spontaneous performances and DJ dance parties. Lucky fans who responded to a last-minute invitation on social media might find themselves in an exclusive group of 40 or 50, listening enrapt as Prince played a marathon set of live music. 6. Don’t Be Quick to Judge Getting to know more about the man behind the outrageous costumes and provocative lyrics taught me not to judge. Now, when I meet someone, I make an effort to hear their story. The world needs a whole lot more people who don’t rush to judgment or avoid making contact because someone looks different or acts different. 7. If God Gave You a Gift, Share It Yes, Prince was a musical genius who heard music in his head, but here’s the truth: He had a choice about what to do with that music. He could have ignored it or procrastinated until the melody slipped his mind. He could have decided he was too shy to be a performer. Instead, when inspiration struck, he threw himself into his work, often composing and recording for 20 hours a day in a flurry of nonstop creativity. He learned how to be a performer despite his initial shyness because he wanted to share his music.
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