Who’s in charge of your life and your priorities, you or your house? When we were neck-deep in a big mortgage, we weren’t making the decisions, our house was. Are we flying to Phoenix to be with my parents at Christmas? No, we aren’t. Our house made the decision for us.
I’m never going back to that way of living, and I know I’m not alone. Here are three ideas that can help guarantee you’ll never be a slave to a mortgage:
1. Sell your house and rent a house that’s half the size you think you need.
Renting will give you the courage to downsize. When we sold our dream house, we grabbed the nearest rental house, and we weren’t picky about it. It’s small, and it’s a bungalow, but we live in a village that is 86 percent owner occupied, and people pay a premium in housing costs to get into our school district. If you find a good rental, you sign the lease now and ask questions later. As it turns out, our rental house has an excellent floor plan that makes it live much bigger than its actual square footage.
No matter what you say, I will never believe you need as much square footage as you have, if you have anything over the U.S. average of 2,500 square feet. You know why I believe that? Because my friend and her husband owned a nearly 6,000 square foot house in Parker, Colorado, before moving to New York City. My friend now lives in a 600 square foot apartment, and she told me that downsizing by 5,400 square feet wasn’t that big of a deal. Sure, she’d prefer a few hundred extra square feet and more closet space, but her family, which includes two teenage sons, is just fine.
2. Buy in a location that’s just outside an established suburb or neighborhood.
Buy a home adjacent to an expensive suburb or neighborhood, and send your kid to private school, or homeschool. For example, in the Chicago area, a good alternative to the popular and established suburb of Evanston is next-door neighbor Skokie. Skokie is very close to Chicago and has a new CTA stop at Oakton, near the growing downtown. While its taxes are a fraction of Evanston’s, Skokie offers really good services, including an excellent park district and library. If you’re so inclined, Evanston has a bunch of good private schools — Baker Demonstration School, Roycemore School — which are a short drive from Skokie.
Before the housing crisis, it was a good idea to pony up for a house in a good school district, because you’d be investing your money in an appreciating asset, as opposed to spending your money for a private school, with no appreciation. Today, that’s been turned on its head. Act accordingly.
3. Don’t buy anything for your house for a year.
People get obsessed with the idea of having the perfect house. They think that if they have the perfect house, they will have the perfect life, and they buy all the accoutrements in a misguided effort to get it. I am here to tell you that when you buy and decorate a house, you are not buying the perfect life. You are buying bricks and mortar and pillows and candles and vases. Your life can be crappy, or it can be great, but the kind of life you live has nothing to do with the shell that contains you.
Plenty of retailers are ready to encourage you in buying your way to the perfect life. Don’t get sucked into the fantasy portrayed by the pretty room pictures you see on Pinterest. Unsubscribe to Crate & Barrel and Pottery Barn emails. Recycle the Williams-Sonoma catalog without a sidelong glance at the gorgeous table settings. Delete your bookmarks for interior design blogs. Stay away from the mall except for essential items for which you have a list.
Go on a home decor fast for one year. Not one fuzzy throw, not a single cute pillow for your bed — nothing. Forget about your house. I assure you, it’s fine the way it is. Once you shift your attention away from the house, you are free to get out and live your life.
Hi Laura, what a great project. I was always making excuses for having a small house but now realize it has been the smartest financial decision ever. We use every square inch and constantly reorganize and change our space for the best use. I agree, the bigger home isn’t necessarily the best.
Also, love the take on Skokie vs Chicago/Evanston. Illinois has so many issues and a grim future. Also a consideration about leaving cook county entirely for lake county….that alone can get you cheaper taxes, home, etc and good public schools.
I look forward to your future posts.
Thanks, Cindy. You make a really good point about using the space you have, and reorganizing space as needs change and kids grow up. Ten years ago when Joel was born I though my #1 priority was a great room where I could see what he was doing from the kitchen. Now, I could care less about that. I like being compartmentalized in the back of the house while cooking.
Skokie is an up-and-coming suburb. Or, should I say, up-and-coming-back suburb. People are going to see what a smart choice it could be.
I’m not listening to my house. It’s too damned big.
We moved to Kansas City from a small town in Eastern Illinois. I had a three bedroom brick ranch house. It was the perfect size. When we moved to Kansas City, we were shocked that we could not purchase a similar house. People had either splits or two stories. We ended up with a four bedroom two-story with plywood siding (KC has a love affair with that crap). We were enticed by a three-seasons porch. I thought, so what an extra bedroom and bathroom? Well, that means extra sinks and toilets and hallways to clean. I’ve had to lower my standards! The house just has to be dirty. It would take a day to do routine cleaning. I can’t afford a housecleaner.
Suzanne, I know what you mean – more house means more to clean — and more to furnish and more to heat. Karen, I think Skokie is going to be popular with young couples moving from the city who want a diverse community that’s a good value for the money. The new CTA stop will tip the scales for a lot of people.
I remember when we were looking to buy, I thought about Skokie too; it was like a town next to where I grew up that had all sorts of industry and had great parks because of it and low real estate taxes. My husband really wanted New Trier, and while I really, really love where we are it has it’s costs on so many different levels.
As for space, I remember really wanting a four bedroom house, hah!!! Well I got it and now know that three would have been plenty of space for my family and we could easily get by with only two bedrooms. I don’t need an eat in kitchen, I learned that from living in the city. I’m not sure I could get by with just one bathroom though
Keep up the writing, I love the blog!
Very useful tips, Laura, and smart thinking as usual!! I’ll keep everything in mind, should I ever decide to purchase a house!!
Not buying anything for the house for a year would be a major change. As I was reading that idea, it really struck me what an enormous effort we have put into the house (both construction and purchasing items) over the last 6 years. I’ll have to think about that as a possible plan for this year.
I know the feeling, Leesa. About 6 months after we moved into our renovated house, I realized that’s all I’d thought about for over a year and I was ready for a break. It can feel really good to shift your attention to other things!